


Falling Apart

by Marauders_Mischief



Series: Wolfstar Stories/Oneshots [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bad Parent Orion Black, Beating, Child Abuse, Depression, M/M, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Marauders Friendship (Harry Potter), Nightmares, Peter Pettigrew Being An Asshole, Protective Remus Lupin, Sad Sirius Black, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Sirius Black & James Potter Friendship, Suicide Attempt, The Marauder's Map, Werewolf Remus Lupin
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-14 15:54:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29794293
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marauders_Mischief/pseuds/Marauders_Mischief
Summary: Sirius comes from an abusive household and is desperate to go to Hogwarts to get away from his troubled life and finally make some friends.Remus, a quite but kind boy, takes a liking to the dark haired boy in his compartment and decides to be his friend. But Remus has his own secrets that he tries to hide.What will happen when Sirius finds out why Remus disappears every night on the full moon, and when Remus learns of Sirius's home life?
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Wolfstar Stories/Oneshots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2190015
Kudos: 8





	1. Chapter 1

Sirius looked up at the Hogwarts Express, grey eyes wide. The steam engine was enormous! Steam gushed from it, hot and humid.  
  
Kids and their families rushed around, yelling and squealing. Last goodbye hugs and kisses. Last minute checks on if they had everything they needed.  
  
Sirius was barely paying attention to any of that as he stared at the train, a large grin on his face.  
  
He couldn't believe he was finally going to wizarding school!  
  
He'd been waiting for this moment for years. He had been dying to go to school, to learn magic...  
  
...to get away from his family.  
  
They hadn't stayed to see him off. He hadn't expected them to either. He didn't let it bother him. This was a new start, a new place. He wouldn't let anything faze him. He wouldn't let his past control him.  
  
But he would make sure no one knew about it either.  
  
He lifted his heavy trunk, struggling with carrying it to the open train door. He stepped in the doorway, leaning down to grab the handle of his trunk and lifted with all his strength. It went up an inch or two before he huffed, dropping the trunk and panted. It was a lot heavier than he remembered.  
  
"Need some help there?"  
  
Sirius looked around to find a man smiling kindly at him, a young girl, possibly his daughter, by his side. The girl smiled, green eyes vibrant and sparkling with warmth, red hair whipping around her freckled face from the wind.  
  
"Uh...yeah. Yeah, thanks," Sirius said quickly.  
  
The man grinned, grabbing the trunk and easily lifting it onto the train before doing the same for his daughters who hopped on after Sirius.  
  
"Have a good term, darling," the man said to his daughter, kissing her cheek. "Make sure to send me plenty of owls!"  
  
Sirius didn't stick around to listen to the heartfelt goodbye. He wasn't sentimental. He didn't care that his family had more important things to do then see their child off. He wondered if they'd even notice his absence for the term, or year, if Sirius decided to stay longer. He had no desire to go home. If you could even call it that.  
  
He walked down the train, looking in each compartment for a free one. It took a while, but eventually he found one near the middle of the train, completely empty of people and quickly ducked in.  
  
He tried to put his trunk on the rack at the top but gave up after just a few minutes and ended up shoving it under the seat. There was another luggage bag on the racks that Sirius hadn't noticed before but didn't worry about it as he was fine with dealing with one other person in the compartment.  
  
Sitting down, Sirius pushed back his long dark hair from his sweaty face. This physical stuff really wasn't in his favor today. His back ached from the strain and his stomach lurched with hunger.  
  
He sighed, resting his head back onto the wall, putting his feet up on the seat beside him, his knees close to his chest.  
  
The warning whistle sounded from the train and Sirius closed his eyes, waiting for the long journey to begin.  
  
Every step away, mile away, any distance away from his broken life was a good thing.  
  
Sirius heard the door slide open and opened his eyes to look at the person, or people, standing in it.  
  
The boy grinned, brown hair messed up and round glasses dat haphazardly on his nose. "Is this compartment free for us to sit?" He asked, waving a vague hand at the pair behind him.  
  
Sirius nodded, knowing that he didn't really have a say in it before turning his head to look out the window.  
  
The boy shrugged, nodding to his friends and they all came in, the boy with the glasses sitting between the other two.  
  
Sirius glanced over at them all, curiosity evident in his grey eyes, unable to help it. He'd never really met other people, his eyes and these boys seemed around his age.  
  
The one closest to the door was a small boy with a ferret face. He tapped his leg with a nervous fever. He had mousey brown hair and dark blue eyes. His two front teeth seemed to stand out when he smiled at the other two.  
  
The other boy who sat by the window had his eyes cast down to the floor. His light brown hair hung in his eyes. Sirius cocked his head to the side, frowning at the scars that ran white across the boy's face.  
  
Sirius quickly looked back out the window, not wanting to be caught staring. He knew firsthand what would happen if they caught him staring thanks to his Father.  
  
The train suddenly lurched forward and Sirius sighed softly, thankful to be finally going. The tension was too thick for him.  
  
The boy with the glasses started chatting away to the others though only the mousy haired boy was really listening. The light brown haired boy had pulled a book from his trunk and was silently reading it, nodding to whatever the boy with the glasses said to him.  
  
Sirius just tried to ignore them and pretend they weren't there but he couldn't help but listen in on their conversation as the boy with the glasses talked rather loudly.  
  
"My Father thinks that I'll be a great quidditch player. I'm great on a broomstick. Near this time next year I'll be sure to be on the Gryffindor team!" The boy boasted to the smaller boy.  
  
The small boy fidgeted with his fingers. "I don't really like broomsticks and racing around in the air. What if you fall off?" He said in a squeaky high voice tinged with anxiety.  
  
The other boy scoffed. "Please! I would never fall off Peter, that's absurd!"  
  
Peter bit his lip with his big front teeth. "I still rather my feet on the ground to be honest..."  
  
"Oh, you're no fun," the boy said, rolling his eyes. He turned to the boy who was reading quietly. "What about you, Lupin? You gonna try out next year for quidditch?"  
  
The boy, Lupin, looked up at the other's eager face. "Afraid not, James. Like Peter I'd rather keep my feet firmly on the ground. I'm not much of a competitor. More an observer."  
  
James sighed. "I'm surrounded by nerds", he muttered.  
  
There was a clatter outside and a lady with a trolley came by looking in the compartment with a smile. "Anything from the trolley, dear's?"  
  
"Bloody hell, yes!" James stated, hoping up from his seat to go and get some sweets.  
  
Sirius glanced at the trolley and felt his stomach rumble with hunger. He ripped his eyes away quickly, staring back out the window. He didn't have any money to buy anything. His family had never given him even a nut in his whole life even though they were filthy rich.  
  
He sighed, pressing his forehead to the cool glass of the window, ignoring his hunger and the pain he constantly felt.  
  
He didn't notice Remus' curious eyes on him.


	2. Chapter 2

Remus, who happened to look up at the dark haired boy across from him, frowned at the boy's glance towards the trolley before looking away just as fast. It was obvious the boy was hungry. Why didn't he just get something to eat?  
  
James came back, his arms loaded with lollies and sweets, dumping them on a spare seat. "Dig in guys. I'm not going to be able to eat this myself."  
  
Peter didn't hesitate, grabbing the nearest sweet and ripping open the packet.  
  
"Want some Remus?" James asked, offering a chocolate frog to the other boy. "Though be sure to show me the card. I'm still looking for a few rare ones."  
  
Remus took it with a thanks. He glanced at the dark haired boy again who was determinedly looking out the window.  
  
Remus bit his lip, thinking for a moment before sighing softly.  
  
Might as well.  
  
"Would you like a chocolate?" He asked the boy, cursing silently at the nervous shake of his voice.  
  
The boy gave a start, his head whipping around to look at Remus. "Pardon?"  
  
"Chocolate? Would you like one?" Remus asked. "Chocolate is my favourite. Such a good treat, don't you think?"  
  
The boy blinked looking befuddled before glancing at the chocolate Remus held out for him. The boy swallowed before reaching out to take it.  
  
Remus felt the boy's fingers brush his and felt a shiver go down his spine. The boy's fingers were cold to the touch.  
  
The boy drew back, chocolate in hand and mumbled a 'thank you' to Remus who nodded.  
  
"No problem," he said, smiling.  
  
James glanced at the boy. "Same goes for you. Any famous cards, you show me first, got it?"  
  
The boy nodded, opening the packet and didn't even glance at the card, handing it to James.  
  
James took it, looking over it eagerly before his face fell. "Damn it. Not him again. I've got four of him already," he cursed, tossing the card aside.  
  
Remus wasn't even paying attention to what James was complaining about, too intent on watching the boy with slight interest.  
  
The boy was obviously trying to pace himself, despite the starved look in his eyes as he slowly ate the chocolate. It was like he was trying to preserve it, make it last as long as possible.  
  
"You can have more, you know," Remus told him. "I'm sure James doesn't mind, do you James?"  
  
"Nah, I don't care," James agreed. "Have as many as you want."  
  
The boy looked surprised but nodded. "Thanks. I will."  
  
"What's your name?" Remus asked, setting aside his book.  
  
The boy frowned slightly. "Sirius."  
  
"Seriously?" James asked sarcastically with a smirk.  
  
Sirius looked like he was struggling not to smile at the bad joke. "Yes. Very seriously."  
  
James laughed at that, grinning at the raven haired boy. "Well, I'm James. James Potter. That's Peter Pettigrew," he stated, pointing at the mousy haired boy.  
  
"And I'm Remus Lupin," Remus said, smiling at Sirius who slowly smiled back.  
  
"You're all friends, I'm guessing?" Sirius said.  
  
"Well, sorta," James said, shrugging. "Remus and I met on the platform just before and Peter we both met on our way to find a compartment."  
  
Sirius nodded. "You don't say. So, you haven't met before besides today?"  
  
James shook his head. "Nope. Hey, wanna be a part of our scurvy crew?"  
  
Sirius was grinning now. "Can't think of a reason why not."  
  
"For that, you get another chocolate," James said and tossed another chocolate frog to Sirius who caught it easily. "You like quidditch, Sirius?"  
  
"Never played before," Sirius admitted.  
  
James bit his lip. "You're not muggleborn are you?" He asked.  
  
Sirius frowned. "No, of course not."  
  
"Oh, good. So you do know what I'm talking about," James said, sounding relieved. "Muggleborns don't get wizards sports."  
  
"Well, I'm pure blood. My younger Brother loves quidditch so I do know what it is. I just was never allo...I mean, I didn't really play. But I enjoy the sport," Sirius said, almost slipping up, but no one seemed to notice it.  
  
"Pure blood, huh? Glad I'm not the only one," James said, grinning. "Peter is a half-blood. So is Remus. What was it again? Pure blood Father and muggleborn Mother?"  
  
Remus raised an eyebrow. "You say muggleborn as if it's a bad thing, James."  
  
"Nothing wrong with it," James said, shrugging. "But they're always odd aren't they? They stand out in the wizarding world because it's so new to them, coming from a muggle family."  
  
"My Father would disagree," Sirius mumbled.  
  
James glanced at him. "What do you mean?"  
  
Sirius blinked, not realizing he'd spoken aloud. "My Father doesn't believe muggleborns should be taught magic. He says they're...unclean."  
  
Remus pressed his lips tightly together, looking away. Sirius felt guilt eat up in him at the look on the other boys face though he didn't know why.  
  
"Do you agree with him? That they're unclean?" James asked.  
  
"Absolutely not. It's ridiculous, I think," Sirius protested instantly.  
  
Remus looked at him surprised, but the look he had was gone.  
  
"Who is your Father? Or your family for that matter. Since you're pure blood I should be able to recognize the name," James said, curiously.  
  
"Oh, um, Black's?" Sirius said warily.  
  
"'Black's'?" Peter repeated who up to that point hadn't spoken. "But they're a bunch of nasty Slytherin's!"  
  
Sirius flinched, looking away. "Not all of them are bad..." he tried half heartedly to defend his family.  
  
"You're that Slytherin family?" James said with shock. "Oh man, that sucks."  
  
Sirius looked down.  
  
Remus frowned at the two. "Just because his family is Slytherin doesn't mean you can make fun."  
  
James mock looked offended. "I wasn't making fun. I was being quite sincere. It would suck. He'll end up in Slytherin along with the rest of them."  
  
"Where he belongs," Peter muttered.  
  
Remus glared lightly. "It doesn't mean he'll end up in Slytherin. He could just as easily end up in any of the other houses."  
  
"I doubt it," Sirius said looking downcast. "My family's record of ending up in Slytherin goes back generations. It's an expectation now. A tradition."  
  
"Well then, you'll be the first to break it, I'm sure," Remus stated firmly.  
  
Sirius gave him a grateful smile. "What house are you hoping to be in?"  
  
"I'm not sure," Remus said, actually thinking about it. "They say Gryffindor is the ideal choice, but I don't think Ravenclaw is so bad either."  
  
"Well, I'm Gryffindor all the way," James stated proudly. "For the brave of heart!"  
  
"What about you, Peter?" Remus asked the small boy who began fiddling with a loose strand on the shirt he wore.  
  
"Anything besides Slytherin," he said firmly, though he still had a nervous twitchy energy about him.  
  
"What? You rather end up in Hufflepuff? I think that's rather shameful, don't you?" James said, wrinkling his nose.  
  
"The only shame would be ending up in Slytherin," Peter said, shooting Sirius a dark look.  
  
"We'll have to wait until we get to Hogwarts to find out, won't we?" James sighed. "The wait is going to kill me!"  
  
Sirius smirked. "I'm sure you'll live. Potter's have a good streak of getting into Gryffindor. Out of any of you I'm the one that'll have to worry most about the sorting," he said, worrying greatly at the back of his mind about what house he'd be in.  
  
The door suddenly opened and all four boys looked up to see a young girl with long red hair and green eyes looking into the compartment with curiosity.  
  
James stared as her, open mouthed and eyes wide.  
  
"Sorry to intrude," she said, not seeming to notice James's look, "but I'm afraid my friend has misplaced his luggage. Have you seen it?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ✒Who knows who she is? Come on now, surely you can guess✒


End file.
